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Families, individuals battle mental health stigma

Post-Bulletin (Rochester, MN) - 6/4/2016

June 04--WINONA -- Mohamed Elhindi and Carol Daul-Elhindi lost their son, Solomon, this past January to suicide.

The last couple months weren't easy for the family. Admittedly, if it weren't for the outpouring of support from neighbors, colleagues and friends, they weren't sure what they would have done.

"When you lose a child, you feel like you lose direction," Carol said softly. "The best thing we can do is to let go of any anger we had and focus on something positive."

Life continues to move on, and the family does all it can to remember Solomon.

Plumped up against some couches were cushions made from Solomon's clothes, some with a bow tie -- Mohamed reminisced that his son was a "sharp dresser" -- and pictures of him were prominently displayed around the home.

The 14-year-old loved making people laugh, his father said, and was a scientist. Carol noted that her son was inquisitive by nature and had a journal filled with inventions. Mohamed shared that Solomon dreamed of going to Harvard University, and he had a knack for making sure everything was precise and accurate.

"He wanted to be a lawyer," Mohamed said with fondness. "He was very intelligent and very bright. He wanted to be many things."

Solomon was also athletic, participating in wrestling and soccer, just to name a few. Many knew him to be a "very good friend," his parents remembered.

Since January, Mohamed has resigned from his position as chairman of the Winona Area Public Schools District, effective in July. He wanted to spend more time advocating and supporting community conversation about mental health and suicide.

The community's support showed the Elhindis how prevalent suicide and mental illness is in the community.

But, for things to get better, a conversation must take place. To foster those conversations, the family created a nonprofit group called Solomon's Song in honor of their son. Solomon's Song is designed to help encourage discussions about mental health and help others find resources.

Two events were planned for this summer to help raise awareness for suicide and mental health.

"We see a lot of that; we need to have open conversations and a community-based effort," Mohamed added.

'No one asks to be struggling'

Minnesota has seen an increase in suicides during the past decade. Greater Minnesota has a higher rate than the metro areas, according to a study conducted by the Minnesota Department of Health in 2013.

Data show that from 1999 to 2014, rates increased. The highest number of suicide rates came from Dodge County with 15.4 per 100,000 people and the lowest coming from Fillmore County at 8.7 per 100,000 people, according to the Center of Disease Control and Prevention database.

This does not include attempted suicides.

Adult suicide rates among Minnesotans ages 25 to 64 years old have steadily increased. Three major age groups in 2011 saw increases: youth, adults and seniors.

It was unknown, health experts say, why there was a steady increase to the numbers. Jon Roesler of the MDH noted there are many stressors that might cause suicides, but it is difficult to pinpoint to a specific one.

More recent numbers are still being analyzed, Roesler said, but it's possible that there's an expected rise in rates.

"It's frustrating," he said. "It's really hard to say that one thing causes it."

However, the state continues to push for more suicide prevention. There has been a higher emphasis on targeting youth and young adults regarding mental illness and suicides.

Carol believes mental health and suicide continues to be skirted in conversations. Along with lack of resources, availability and accessibility for those seeking help, there's not enough being done.

There was also a stigma attached to talking about suicide and depression. Despite losing their son, the family wanted to engage and help others who are struggling or have lost someone to suicide. They wanted to foster a dialogue and chip away at the taboo.

"We just wanted to focus on funneling all our energy into something positive," Carol said. "It's a paradigm shift that we need. It all boils down to not judging, and opening your mind, and realize that people who are struggling, they didn't ask to have this. No one asks to be struggling. Our mental health care in this country is far from where it needs to be."

Going forward

A small, tidy room tucked in an upstairs corner belonged to Solomon. There were some snapshots of his friends taped against the wall, a punching bag stood in a corner and various awards and trophies were displayed on top of the dresser.

Carol and Mohamed stood in the center of the wooden floor examining cards and signs made by their son's friends in his memory. Every once in a while, they'd laugh at sayings that Solomon created such as "Seize the Cheese." Carol touched a "circle of life" that was given by a Native American after Solomon passed away.

They choose to remember Solomon as a happy, hilarious, bright person.

Conversations about mental health and suicide continue to be stunted because of societal stigmas attached to revealing a diagnosis. Some choose to not seek help because they are afraid of being called "crazy" or "weak."

As for now, their son's story continues to be told in hopes that others will find comfort, as well as providing a way for the voiceless to be heard.

"The pain of losing a child never goes away," Mohamed said. "But the support from the community, helped keep us going."

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(c)2016 the Post-Bulletin

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