Board hears tale of mental illness, recovery

May 05--COOPERSTOWN -- She can still remember the clawing feelings of sadness and loneliness that drove her to get medical help.

It was 17 years ago, Kate Hewlett of Oneonta said Wednesday, when she was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.

The journey since then hasn't been an easy one.

It began after Hewlett said she went to a hospital because she was experiencing sleeplessness and an erratic appetite amid those overwhelming feelings of despair.

After examining her, a doctor gave her the diagnosis, and she remembered him saying, "Your life is over, kid."

She told her story to the Otsego CountyBoard of Representatives on Wednesday. It began as a tale of pain, followed by struggle, and, finally, hope and sunlight.

She told of how she had trouble getting jobs and lived in an apartment where the windows wouldn't open.

"I lived a life of extreme poverty, living off of Social Security benefits and food stamps," she said. "I had to eat at soup kitchens and go to food pantries. I was labeled as non-compliant since I refused to take medications and sometimes sat through therapy in silence. I went through life with shame and the stigma associated with mental health challenges."

Along the way, Hewlett said, were many hospitalizations. "I felt I didn't fit into society and I asked myself, "What is wrong with me?' All because that first doctor took my hope away."

It was five years ago, she said, that she decided she would no longer be a patient. Her goal, she said, was to prove that doctor was wrong, and that her life would have value.

She said she started a mental health support group and volunteered at Mt. View Wellness Center. That led to a part-time job. She joined a 12-step program and was eventually able to complete therapy. Along the way, she said, she went from taking 12 psychiatric medications to just one.

"Every time I stumbled or fell," Hewlett said, "I kept standing up."

She was standing up Wednesday, a living testament to human perseverance, when she said she is no longer receiving any government benefits and has become a certified Recovery Coach, now employed as the first full-time peer engagement specialist working at Otsego County Community Services' adult behavioral health clinic.

"I am an advocate and I am a recovery and motivational speaker spreading the word that there is hope, healing and recovery from mental health challenges," Hewlett said.

It has been eight years since she was last hospitalized, she said. She said she still fights stigma as she strives to help others.

"I don't think of the past 17 years of my life as a waste," she said. "I think of it as an internship. I have the knowledge and the lived experience to be a visionary leader and a role model for others."

County Rep. Gary Koutnik, D-city of Oneonta, the chairman of the board's human services committee, said Hewlett's ability to speak out about her journey back from mental illness is inspirational.

"Her progress has been remarkable and her ability to speak openly about experiences that are so deeply personal is truly courageous," he said.

Inside:

--Event to focus on children's mental health. Page 2

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