Country singer's battle with mental illness expressed in concert tonight

April 14--Country singer Jason DeShaw's personal story starts out like a lot of Montanans. He grew up on a ranch, and then went to college.

Some might say DeShaw's journey became unusual after that, but the musician performs at 7 p.m. Tuesday in the Butte High auditorium to let people know that his personal story is not so unique after all.

While a student at Carroll College in Helena, DeShaw learned to play guitar and starting writing songs. His first performance in Helena sold out. He never looked back.

DeShaw, 34, began touring and making country music albums. His career looked promising. He toured across 35 states and in Europe. He was opening for major acts like Little Big Town, but in 2010 he had a manic episode while touring in Canada. The situation was so bad, his promoter called his family who then drove DeShaw through the night to the nearest psychiatric hospital seven hours away.

"I was treating my symptoms with Canadian whiskey," DeShaw told The Montana Standard in a phone interview Monday. "It was like a freight train trying to get out."

DeShaw was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder and alcoholism. He said he grew up with a "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality. He tried that approach with his mental illness and alcoholism in the beginning.

"I almost died a few times," he said.

At times he had to concentrate just to walk because his depression was so severe.

DeShaw's message that those who experience mental illness are not alone, is backed up by John Doran, director of public relations for Blue Cross Blue Shield of Montana, a concert sponsor. Doran says 1-in-5 Americans are impacted by mental illness.

DeShaw said he believes the stigma around mental illness is "the civil rights movement of our time." So he's touring Montana to sing songs and talk about his personal journey to tell people it's OK to have mental illness, and it's OK to ask for help.

Sponsored by Blue Cross Blue Shield of Montana and the Center for Mental Health Research and Recovery at Montana State University, DeShaw said the inspiration for the tour was the death of a friend by suicide last fall.

"I know from my own experience, people with mental illness all need an ounce of hope, they need to know they're not alone," DeShaw said.

DeShaw said one source of hope for him was the man in black himself -- Johnny Cash. The country music legend fought battles with mental illness and alcohol.

"The first time I ever went on the psych ward of a hospital, I said a little prayer to Johnny Cash, that he'd help me through it," DeShaw said. "I felt a little presence from the man in black."

DeShaw, who also likes to dress in black, says concert-goers can expect to hear Cash's classic, "Folsom Prison Blues," Tuesday night.

"Johnny Cash is an inspiration. He stood up for the guy who didn't have a voice," DeShaw said.

DeShaw's music has changed over the course of the decade he's been in the business. Growing up on the Hi-Line of Montana, he wrote his first song while sitting on a John Deere tractor.

"In my early career I wrote a lot of songs about where I came from. I'm so damn proud to be a Montanan," DeShaw said.

But since his diagnosis and recovery, his music has taken a different turn.

"I think my newer writing has been to try to go for a bigger message. I'm glad (mental illness) struck my life; I didn't have to write about tailgates and honky-tonks anymore," DeShaw joked.

His musical influences, besides Cash, include Waylon Jennings and Woody Guthrie.

DeShaw said his show, called Serenity in the Storm, is about trying to find peace in a wild world.

"If you look at our country, mental illness and addiction are the primary cause of our social problems. I'm trying to help normalize that," DeShaw said. "There's hope for recovery. We just have to hang on even when there's nothing to hold onto."

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