How can I tell if my son is depressed?

Nov. 30--Q: I realize adolescents can experience a lot of mood swings, but how can I tell if my son is just moody or is suffering from depression?

A: Adolescents and teens often go through periods of difficulty that may not be actual depression. However, a child doesn't need to be diagnosed with clinical depression to benefit from counseling, says the Help for Families panel.

"It's not easy to determine whether someone has a biological problem or if just facing teenage issues," panelist Joanne Nigito-Raftas says. "A counselor is another opinion and we want to encourage people to get a second opinion."

Adolescence is the last time the brain undergoes major structural growth and it's very common for adolescents to have major mood swings, panelist Bill Vogler says. "You know your child better than anyone," he says. "If your gut is telling you something is going on, act on it."

"As parents you don't need to know everything about depression," agrees Nigito-Raftas. "If your child is having a rough time he may just need some someone to talk to. It's OK to ask for help."

Vogler points out if your child felt unwell physically for a couple weeks you would take them to a doctor, and it's the same for emotional well-being.

"It doesn't mean he's going to be put on Prozac," Vogler says. "Getting counseling is a healthy positive thing."

A lot of things that are symptoms of depression also are normal behaviors in teenagers such as changes in eating and sleeping patterns and dramatic reactions the panel says.

Look at the child's overall behavior. How chronic is his sadness? Is there a logical explanation for his mood such --did he just broke up with his girlfriend?

"Teens tend to compare themselves to absolutes," Vogler says. "They feel "if I'm not the best I'm nothing.'"

Is the child exhibiting these moods at home or is it affecting his whole life? Talk to the school counselor and find out how he's acting in school.

Some children may continue to function as usual but convey a level of sadness through everything they do, Nigito-Raftas says.

If you have concerns about depression, you should take steps to safeguard the house. Get rid of any guns and lock up any prescription medication.

"Suicide is often an impulsive act that occurs when the instruments of violence are readily available," Vogler says. "Eliminate any easy access."

The bottom line is if you as a parent are concerned, ask for help.

"It takes courage to get help," Nigito-Raftas says. "People think getting help means you have problems but it means you want to straighten your problems out."

Signs of depression include persistent sad, anxious or empty mood; changes in sleep patterns; reduced appetite and weight loss or increased appetite and weight gain; loss of pleasure and interest in once-enjoyable activities; difficulty concentrating at school, remembering things or making decisions; fatigue or loss of energy and feeling guilty, hopeless or worthless and thoughts of suicide or death.

Anyone experiencing five or more symptoms for two weeks or longer should see a doctor or mental health professional.

kathy.lauer@mcall.com

610-778-2235

TIPS FOR MOODINESS IN ADOLESCENTS

--If your gut is telling you something is going on, seek professional help.

--Look at the child's overall behavior. How chronic is his sadness?

--Is the child exhibiting these moods at home or is it affecting his whole life?

--Talk to the school counselor and find out how he's acting in school.

--If you have concerns about depression, you should take steps to safeguard the house.

THE TOPIC TEAM

Parenting experts and guest panelists who helped this week:

Joanne Nigito-Raftas, registered play therapist and parenting educator, Bethlehem.

Bill Vogler, executive director of Family Answers, Allentown.

Help for Families is a collaboration between The Morning Call and parenting professionals brought together by Valley Youth House's Project Child.

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